Purpose Driven Life

“Writing’s just my diversion."

I convinced my self from the start; writing can't be a passion since it is one of the simplest things not only I, but each of us, can do. Writing is plainly my stress reliever; a scheme to utter my voiceless feelings whenever I’m getting hopeless from hoping too much; a hide away to run away from misery, rage, and folly. At the age of 8, I started writing for my self; and I thought that’s all it will ever be.

Yesterday, (08/29/2015) I talked to someone via facebook messager. Motivating other people was not my avocation but whenever I do, I feel like I’m being comforted myself. I can clearly see my past self in her. She’s clearly just like me years ago and I was moved when she told me that she can also see herself in me; her self back when motivation still fills her soul but that was her self from the past. Her past self was long gone, gone for good. I was disheartened, not just for what she has said but because I remembered those exact words from my very own self when I was a damsel in distress, pushing right through everything, struggling to save my self but I can’t; knowing that I am all alone.

She told me she’s broken and all I can tell her is that "Its okay to be broken; everyone gets broken. From time to time, bearing a broken heart makes us feel more and as you feel more, might as well do something to pour all those feelings into. Do something meaningful out of being broken. Continue the things you do. If you’ve already done great things, I assure you that you can do more. Don’t waste your talent, it wasn’t bestowed upon you for nothing. Everyone has stories to tell but not all posses wisdom to understand the significance of every circumstances. Everyone can create an art but only those who feel the same can understand.”

She told me that she only regains herself whenever she’s in love, thus I told her to fall in love with her self. "Love your self before anybody else. This is the only way not to lose your self in process of loving someone else. Maybe you hardly value yourself and forgotten how you deserve to be valued. Don’t refuse to give your self the chance to do greater things.”

"You’re very much on point. You’re the only one who motivated me and handled me this much. It seems like you clearly know the right words. Why? How?“ She replied. That moment I knew I did something extraordinary and that’s when I fathomed that did something phenomenal with this life of mine. I felt fulfilled. I sent her a smile and a heart and I replied "Because was once just like you.”

A year ago I was exactly like her; enduring the same feelings as slowly dragging myself down the depths of melancholy. I was the same as she is or maybe I was even worse but I was also looking for those words; desperately dying to hear those words from anyone but there was none. I was alone, but I have no one to blame because I was the one who refused to reach out for help. I was so scared to bother anyone and I would rather be alone and wait for someone who cares enough to reach out for me; but that only made them think that I’m fine, and strong enough to handle things on my own. I almost died; I mean it almost crushed me to dust but I have my God, and I never regret not bothering anyone for I’ll never know how strong I am until being strong is the only choice I have left. That was the point in my life when I learned to be my own best friend, and that’s when I found those words to comfort my own soul.

I’ve known how hard it is to be the only one who can understand yourself. You are left alone looking for what’s missing within you but how can you look for something you never knew? Back then, I was astray. I don’t know where to start. I don’t even know how to pick myself up to start again; all I have left are these feelings, these words and a prayer.

Near the end of summer 2015, I found one of my greatest treasure. I found something to do with my existence, something to live for, something I will never get tired of pouring my heart into. I will write. I want to share these words and my stories to those who haven’t yet made the journey. If you’ll ask me why? Maybe because when I was in their shoes, I desperately need to know all these things beforehand but I fathomed too late. I became my own hero. and I think no matter how the world changes me, my soul will live with these little acts of kindness.

#motivation #inspiration #self #writing #literary #life #passion #writer